I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
