He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
