guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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