so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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