i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have post one night stand depression
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize