last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
