after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
