a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
