So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
