is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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