The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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