Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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