Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Screwed.edu
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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