just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
