she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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