Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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