Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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