just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
