Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
