His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
