it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
