Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
