fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
