we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
