How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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