Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
