Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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