after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
