just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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