Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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