Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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