i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
