WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
