Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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