yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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