Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
