i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
