college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
