is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
