Apparently you make a good broom.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
