sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
wow bdsm is so cute
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
