He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
