My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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