he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dignity is for republicans.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize