My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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