Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
