I will die if light touches me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
