He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
