Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
