I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
