2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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