there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
