Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
