Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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