Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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