Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
