the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
