This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
