The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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