I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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