It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize