you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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