called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
